It's amazing what a little distance from a broken heart can do for you. I could not imagine feeling the peace I feel now a year ago and for that matter a few short months ago, but somewhere along this journey I found it, and after the struggles we have had, I know I deserve it. When your life changes on a dime, you cannot fathom ever smiling, laughing, or being normal again. Eventually, you realize you are standing on a precipice and you have two choices. You can stay on that cliff, cling to the familiarity of wallowing in sadness, let the wind continue to rip your soul to pieces, or you can have a little faith and jump; trying to free yourself from what's become your new world and begin to live again. I chose to jump; eyes wide-open and terrified. This new world was unlike anything I'd ever known. What I realized during my freefall was that the grass really is greener on the other side and I wasn't falling alone. I was enveloped in a parachute of love that would never leave me crashing to the ground. I was placed gently, carefully, and peacefully in a meadow with new life and new beginnings all around me. I finally understood. It was my job to tend my flock and leave that misery behind. Thankfully, I have not had to do it alone.
June 26, 2012