As She Mourned Herself to Sleep

As she mourned herself to sleep,
She allowed the memories, the hopes, the dreams, the promises, the defeat, the heartache, the death,
To tumble out of her eyes.
And create the ocean-
On which she rocked herself to sleep.
Comforted only by herself-
As even those close to her,
Could not enter this space.
This place of grief
Was hers alone.
Not to be shared with others, like she tries to do
During the hours the sun tries to blind her-
Because she's not quite ready for the brilliance and the hope that star represents.
Not just yet.
The darkness inside is just too deep.
And to let the light shine in too soon,
May ruin everything.
There are times you need to live in the depths of the hell that was thrust upon you-
To eventually rejoice in the heavens you know are waiting...
Someday.
Sadly, there's no timeline for grief.
For healing.
And she's been here enough.
Not this exact space-
Because this darkness belongs only to a mother who has lost her child-
To know that time is what she needs,
But time is what she dreads.
This territory is unfamiliar.
And scary.
And unfair-
To any who've suffered it
Her heart not only breaks for herself,
But for those she loves and for those she does not know.
The weight feels like it's crushing her from within,
And chokes her with grief.
It is horrible, and for now,
There's no escaping it.
Rest softly, sweet girl.
Let the angels of dreams take care of you for now-
Tomorrow will be upon you soon enough,
And I pray that you will grieve for one minute less than you did today.